Birthday wishes

With my birthday coming up in a few days, my sister asked if I had any wishes. I've reached a point where I no longer have a list of "stuff" I want. Things were a lot easier when I was a kid and I could just rhyme off Star Wars figures I didn't have, or video games I wanted. In the absence of obvious material desires, I started thinking of a few things I could wish for. Here's what I came up with to start...

• I wish I could write songs like Barenaked Ladies.
• I wish I could sing like Steven Page.
• I wish I could play guitar like Dean Ween.
• I wish I could play drums like Claude Coleman Jr.
• I wish I could play piano like Ben Folds.
• I wish I could play bass like Geddy Lee.
• I wish I could run a home studio like Matthew Sweet.
• I wish I could write like Douglas Adams.
• I wish I could fight like Tito Ortiz.
• I wish I could fight evil like Dave Touretzky.
• I wish I could understand women like Oprah.
• I wish I could dispense solid, life-changing advice like Dr. Phil.
• I wish I could capitalize on eccentricity like Prince.
• I wish I could indulge in vice in moderation like ... most people.
• I wish I could be forgiven for my sins like a Catholic.
• I wish I could be at peace with what is like a bodhisattva.
• I wish I could "make it right" like Mike Holmes.
• I wish I could transcend typecasting like Paul Reubens.
• I wish I could be a hero to the geeks like Kevin Smith.
• I wish I could install software patches, roll back to a system restore point and defrag my brain like an operating system.